A Time to Remember
by LisaT
Summary: Coda' expansion. Harry's eulogy to Janeway. PLEASE R & R


**A Time to Remember**

This was inspired by Harry's eulogy to Janeway in _Coda._ It is admittedly soppy, but hopefully it's not too saccharine. Please read and review- constructive feedback, please.

_Disclaimer: Consider it said._

Ensign Harry Kim, sated from an over-indulgence of the obscenely ripe berries Neelix had discovered on this planet, lay back against a convenient tree trunk and drifted into a doze. On a day like this, on a planet like this- even if the sun was a strange shade of orange and the grass closer to turquoise than green- it was possible to close his eyes and imagine he was in his parents' back yard, the sun warm on his face, listening to the sounds of talk, laughter, argument and play created by his young cousins.

After his failed attempts to charm Jenny- or was it Megan?-Delaney, he'd spent much of the afternoon in the company of his two best friends, Tom Paris, and B'Elanna Torres. However, after a while, Harry had decided to wander off a little and leave them to their own devices. Tom and B'Elanna were fond of bickering together, and sometimes Harry was certain he was going to be incinerated by the sparks of electricity that he occasionally thought flashed between them. If, he prudently decided, they were headed for one of their periodic blazing rows, he did not want to get caught in the cross-fire.

Besides, this was a rare opportunity for privacy. Even though Harry had his own quarters by virtue of his position as a bridge officer and a member of the senior staff, such privacy was largely illusory. The walls dividing the quarters were little more than paper thin, and Harry, only child of elderly parents, was accustomed to relatively quiet living arrangements. As a native of San Francisco, he'd even lived at home during his time at the Academy, so Voyager was his first real experience at communal living of any kind.

Initially, it had been a great novelty, an excitement; later, when they were pulled into the Delta Quadrant and had to adjust to the idea of spending the rest of their lives tens of thousands of light years away from home, concerns about lack of privacy seemed insignificant.

Now, after a period of adjustment, privacy was a luxury to be seized and enjoyed when possible, and despite the soft sounds of chatter that floated to him now and then, he could feel himself truly alone. The air was still with the curious silence of a summer day, and Harry allowed himself to luxuriate in it, and sink deeper into sleep…

He floated gently back to awareness, unsure of what had roused him. He could hear a voice, more distinct than the others had been. What was it saying? Still more than half-asleep, Harry tried to focus.

"..a nice sleep, Harry?" he heard again as his eyelids fluttered. For a fleeting second he thought that the warm voice was his mother's, but his mother's voice was soft, and lacked that distinctive rasp…

It was the familiar touch on his shoulder that roused him completely- a touch he had felt on the bridge scores of times, a touch of praise, and occasionally reassurance…

Mortified to be caught literally napping, his hair flopping childishly forward, his face and clothing covered in sticky blue fruit juice, Harry bolted upright, inadvertently nearly knocking his Captain over in the process. Luckily, the ever-present Commander Chakotay caught her in time.

"Ma'am! Sir!" Harry barked, his confusion causing him to revert automatically to protocols instilled in him by the Academy.

The Captain sighed. "At ease, Harry. We're on shore leave. It was my fault for startling you."

Harry relaxed, but only a little. Despite the warmth of the Captain's tone, he was too embarrassed to meet her eyes, knowing that his face showed his feelings for all to see.

"Sorry, ma'am- I mean, Captain," he mumbled instead.

He heard another sigh, closer this time, and realised that the Captain, who stood a good five inches or more shorter than he, was standing beside him, her hand on his chin so that he was forced to look her in the eye.

"Harry! It was an accident! Now, relax before you really do sprain something and we have to send you back to the Doctor's tender care!"

"I'd do as she says, Harry," Chakotay interjected. "Can't you hear what the Doctor would have to say if we did that? And imagine trying to explain how it happened!" The First Officer nodded at them, and moved towards Mike Ayala, who could be seen waving wildly in his direction.

Harry relaxed and grinned sheepishly at the Captain. There was something different about her… He shook his head and tried to clear the mists of sleep from his shocked and foggy brain, and then narrowed his eyes and squinted at her.

"What is it?" the Captain demanded, seeing his gaze. "Is something wrong?"

"No, Captain. At least, I don't think so." Harry continued to peer at her as she led him to a nearby fallen trunk and sat him down on it, before settling beside him herself.

Finally it dawned on him that she was out of uniform. Even her hair was free of its usual bun, and a quick glance downwards explained her sudden drop in height. She had apparently abandoned her three inch Starfleet heels.

By the time they were both comfortable, Harry had more or less regained his senses in full. He'd also relaxed. It was perfectly clear that he wasn't in trouble, and as she'd said, they were on shore leave. Too shy to comment on her changed appearance as Tom might have done- even the berry juice that he now noticed was smeared as generously on her face as it was on his- he grinned.

"Enjoying your shore leave, Captain?"

The Captain returned his grin. "Oh, definitely. I might even follow your example later and take a little nap. You looked so peaceful. I'm sorry we disturbed you."

Harry shrugged. "I was waking up anyway." He glanced up at her through his lashes. "Truth is, I stuffed myself on those berries that Neelix found, and I realised that Tom and B'Elanna had finally gone somewhere else to shout at each other, and the tree looked so welcoming, so.."

Kathryn laughed. "Perfectly understandable." She leaned closer so that she could whisper in his ear. "As you can see, I've been indulging in the berries too. Am I a complete mess?"

Harry nearly panicked at that. His commanding officer was sitting next to him, like his mother or a favourite aunt, looking just like anyone else with her hair in a tangled mass down her back and her face and dress liberally smeared with squashed fruit and fruit juice… and now she wanted to know if she was a mess! How was he supposed to answer that?

Kathryn smiled ruefully and tapped his knee. "Never mind. Your reaction speaks for itself. That bad, eh?" She caught his eye as she attempted to wipe the stains from around her mouth and began to laugh again. "Oh, Harry, your face! I didn't realise you were so terrified of me!" She reached into a pocket and produced a sealed wipe. "Here we are. I'll clean myself up with one of these, and you can have the other. Deal?"

He grinned at her. "Deal."

"Not a word of this to Tom," she warned as she finished cleaning her own face and hands and passed a second little packet to Harry. "I'd never hear the end of it."

"You can say that again!"

"What? Oh, is that one of Tom's twentieth-centuryisms?"

Harry, feeling refreshed and relaxed now that he was comparatively clean, grinned. "Yup. Thanks for the wipe, by the way."

The Captain exhaled happily. "My pleasure. You know, Harry," she continued, putting an arm across his shoulders, "this is becoming a very good day. Here in the Delta Quadrant they're few and far between. Sometime in the future, when we're back in the Alpha Quadrant, it'll be days like today that'll stick in your memory. Hold on to them."

She squeezed his shoulder. "I know this isn't quite what you expected for your first mission, and I'm sorry about that- more sorry than I can express. But days like today show you-me-all of us- that's it's not all bad. We can have fun. Good times. Times to remember."

Harry blinked away the moisture that had come to his eyes. "I'll remember," he said gruffly as she rose. "And Captain? Don't be sorry. Not about me, honestly. Sure, I miss home, but this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I trust you. We all do. You'll get us home a lot sooner than seventy odd years, I know that." He gave her a shy smile. "You know what that means? It means that every day is something to treasure, even the bad ones. Every day out here is a time to remember." He paused then, and looked straight at her. "I'm honoured to be here, Captain. I'm honoured to be serving with you."

He thought that her eyes had an unaccustomed sheen to them as she reached the cup his cheek for a moment. "Bless you, Harry," she said softly. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. You've been a real joy throughout this whole mission. I'm delighted to have you on board." She blinked, and then smiled. "Now I'll leave you to sleep again, if that's what you choose. I've other people to scare!"

Harry watched her leave, affection and respect evident on his face. Then he turned to look back at his spot. His little oasis of quiet and privacy had been shattered, but he found he no longer cared. He could hear B'Elanna and Tom approaching, B'Elanna arguing about something with her usual fierce intensity, while Tom drawled back, deliberately provocative.

Harry took a deep breath of the sweet air, appreciating the scents that could come only from nature, even alien nature. The Captain was right. This was truly a time to remember.


End file.
